I keep my distance

a fragile barrier between myself and the sadness I've come to befriend

The long drives hold me with a quiet embrace

rocking me gently in my defeat

it all makes me sad

I don’t know how to carry it--

the weight of this loss

the unfamiliar shape of the new

I can’t untangle the choices that wove this path

and have yet to make peace with the turns that led us here

maybe I’m not meant to

maybe that’s the lesson

(The shun—

a silent exile wrapped in unspoken words

eyes trace every path but mine

careful and deliberate

My name—

a ghost on their tongues

avoided with a practiced ease

as if speaking it might set them aflame)